 |
| Because girl power means supporting each other's choices. |
A
huge part of being a writer is reading. A lot. That said, whenever I come
across material that resonates with me and which I’d like to add to, I can’t
help but share it on my blog. Today’s post draws upon an article by, of all
people, actress Zosia Mamet (aka Shoshana on HBO's Girls).
In
her Glamour magazine piece called “No, I Won’t Lean In, Thanks,” Mamet wonders
whether our success obsessed culture is alienating women who don’t wish to “go
for the f-king gold.” She poignantly writes, “you can’t just jog; you have to
run a triathlon. Having a cup of coffee, reading the paper, and heading to work
isn’t enough – that’s settling, that’s giving in, that’s letting them win.”
Mamet’s
point is that women have to define success based on what makes them happy, minus
the external pressures. The ultimate hope is that women will be supportive of
each other’s choices rather than being judgmental of anyone they perceive to be
so-called “settling.”
For
instance, Mamet gives the example of how if she were to open a small coffee
shop, it’s likely her female friends wouldn’t consider her a success if it
didn’t go on to reach the scale of Magnolia Bakery. But what they might not
realize is that she purposefully wants to keep it small so as to enjoy a quiet and simple life, and so she can be more hands on.
I
remember at one point during journalism school I was interning at a prestigious
fashion magazine and my dad told me that despite being at the bottom now, I
would go on to be the next Anna Wintour. While I liked the encouragement, I
felt a pang in my stomach as I wondered whether there was something wrong with
me because I knew at 22 I absolutely didn’t want to be at the helm of a major publication.
Did
I lack ambition? Did I not have sufficient confidence in my abilities? I
weighed the possibilities, but the reality was I wanted the kind of journalism
job where I would still have ample time for my family and myself. I wasn’t in a
relationship at the time, but even then I knew that to be happy, my personal
life would always have to come before my career.
That’s
why when my boyfriend made a strong case for me to leave New York and move to
Miami, I knew I had to at least give it a try. Soon after relocating, I found a
great gig as a food writer for a popular local newspaper, but it ended when it
turned out the company was unable to sponsor me for a work visa.
Right
now, I’m unemployed as I wait to hear whether I’ll get a work visa as a
technical writer at a company that sells chemicals. It’s by no means my dream
job. Far from it. However, I took it because time was running out on my stay in
the US, and because I’ve made the choice to put my personal relationship first.
Though
there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that it was the right decision given the
circumstances, I was terribly anxious about what my friends would think when I
told them about my on hold career plans. In a time of leaning in, I was
leaning far back, and I feared how I’d be perceived.
Well,
I now officially know I have the greatest friends in the world because they
were nothing but supportive when I told them. I think on some level everyone
understands that you can’t have it all, and more importantly: that happiness
means different things to different people. To my dear friends: thank you, and
to all the women out there: please support each other.
xoxo
Val
No comments:
Post a Comment
Blogging isn't nearly as much fun if I don't hear from YOU, so tell me what YOU think.