I'm married, so now what? Musings from a new wife

We did it! Our very intimate wedding in South Beach, Miami 

I've been married for almost one month now, and the question I've been getting the most is: so, what's married life like? While I've spent many moments in the shower trying to conjure up a smart, witty and wise answer, the best I've been able to come up with has been: it's, umm, the same. Why? Because it's pretty much the truth.

As much as I love that my nieces and nephew can officially refer to David as "uncle David," and that I officially have a mother-in-law and a sister-in-law, the underlying sense of family existed before the I do's. I find it equally amazing and entirely bizarre referring to David as my husband and telling people that yes, I'm a married woman. But when you put aside the new vocabulary that's suddenly at my disposable -- my life on a day-to-day basis has barely changed since the big day.

Had we not been living together for over a year before we wed my answer would likely be a lot different. For me, cohabitation is the real relationship game changer. That's when your love is tested by daily squabbles over the importance/non importance of coasters, or who has to take out the trash. And you have to juggle it all with life's inherent ups and downs. Me thinks that if at the end of the day you find yourself loving the other person even more -- that's when you know you're with someone truly special.

However, relationships, much like marriage are hard work. There's no part of me that thinks okay, I'm married, so now I can sit back and relax so to speak. Just because there's a ring on my finger doesn't mean I feel I've won the ultimate relationship prize. I'm beyond happy no doubt, but the ultimate prize for me will come when I can look at my husband in 50 years and smile knowing he's still the one. And that I know will take many, many years of commitment, compromise, trust and affection.

Not to sound cynical, but marriages, especially when there aren't children involved can dissapate almost as easily as serious relationships. So now that I'm a Mrs., I plan on working even harder to make my marriage successful. No, it's not because we signed a document and made vows and therefore are now more committed to each other. It's because my love and respect for my husband grows everyday, and because I want to have kids with him -- and dammit I want that 50th wedding anniversary.

xoxo

Val