The weight game: playing without losing your head part II

Every time I read something with a title along the lines of "How to get your body beach ready in two weeks," or "Five foods that will give you a flat belly," I swear it's going to be my last one, but of course, it never is. I keep thinking the next one will hold the secret to end all secrets -- the one that will bring me one step closer to looking like Jessica Alba in a bikini. It never does.

And the more I read, the more confused I become. One's telling me eating Greek yogurt will do wonders for my waistline, while the next expert is suggesting I ban all dairy from my diet. Caffeine is the devil on Monday, but on Tuesday it's being lauded for its health benefits. Pardon my French but WTF?! I realized I was becoming a slave to my heath/beach body quest when my morning bowl of cereal started to overflow as I attempted to fill it with as many "superfoods" as humanely possible. Enough was enough.

With bathing suit season officially upon us, it's easy to become obsessed with clocking in hours at the gym and with what one puts into his or her mouth. Make no mistake both are important, particularly the latter, but any obsession is unhealthy.

In a recent intenSati class, the inspirational founder, Patricia Moreno, said something that really stuck and which I'm going to try to internalize; the key word here being try. For those of you who don't know, intenSati is a high intensity, affirmation shouting workout focused around self-empowerment via changing your mindset. To convey a point, Patricia drew a circle to represent one's life/well-being. She allocated a tiny piece to working out, and a slightly bigger piece to what one eats. However, the biggest chunk of the circle was one's thoughts. Her point was, if we want to love our lives -- and our bodies -- it all begins with what we think and what we tell ourselves.

She preaches, and I agree, that to achieve our goals (career, fitness, relationship etc.), we have to start from a place of self-acceptance and love. If we accept ourselves exactly as we are, all the while striving to be our personal best -- not anyone else's (here's to you Jessica Alba), everything else will fall into place. For instance, we'll make the right decisions regarding what we put into our mouths because we'll choose foods that give us energy and make us feel good.

Okay, so you're probably thinking this is all high and mighty Val, but WTF am I supposed to do when I have to be in a two-piece next week? I hear ya loud and clear, but if you take anything away from this post, it's put down whatever you're reading and tell yourself you're perfect just the way you are. Instead of trying to change things, focus on being grateful for what you have and doing what will make you feel even better. I'm going to try this, and if I end up miserable and 10 pounds heavier -- I'll be the first to let you know.

I'll start with accepting I'll never look like Jessica Alba in a bikini, something that being of sound mind I always knew, but perhaps never fully reconciled. I also know while diet and exercise can go a long way in changing our physiques and improving our health, a little something called DNA plays an even bigger role (at least that's what the scientists are saying today). Or as my mother aptly puts it, "no matter what, I'll never be a tall blonde". Being her kin, I'll also never be a leggy blonde (thanks mom, thanks), and perhaps with the exception of pregnancy, I will forever be flat of chest (sounds better than flat chested, no?).

I also know while it may work great for some, eliminating meat, dairy, coffee and all sugar from my diet won't make me feel better (depressed is the word I'm looking for). Yes, it's important to educate oneself about the latest nutrition and fitness research, but I'd say (I could be totally wrong) it's equally as significant to listen to one's body and do what feels right for YOU and makes YOU happy. Come to think of it, I've been at my ideal weight only when I've been happy and at peace with my situation -- not the other way around. And especially not when I've been obsessing over how I look. Is there any way I can declare this the summer of self-love without making you want to punch me in the face? Can I also add happy and confident people are always the most attractive ones? Guess I just did.

The circle of "life", or just the delicious zucchini frittata at Locande Verde