Life after graduation: coping with the great unknown

Lately I’ve been feeling restless. For the first time in my 25 years on this earth, I haven’t a clue what I’m doing next. While I can tell you where I’m eating next -- Babbo, anyone? (the parents are visiting), that’s about as far as I can get. For a compulsive planner (I was the eight year-old who couldn’t wait to get homework so I could write it in my agenda), this is torture not unlike the kind Kim Kardashian’s baby must feel when she dons a signature body hugging ensemble.

To bring you up to speed, I’m graduating in May and have begun my quest to find a job in the editorial/PR/marketing sphere. Desperate to stay in New York and build a successful career, the pressure is, in effect -- on. Searching for a job, however, is a daunting process that doesn’t have a definite end date, like, say a midterm or an internship. You spend hours crafting an application to no avail, despite several follow-ups. It makes me wonder if there's a "special place" all unread job applications go to die?

Do understand, I’m not inviting you to a pity party here; there are few people who don’t have to experience this at one point or another, but I’ve always used this blog as a means of self expression and this is no exception. This restlessness is new to me and I’m grappling with it.

I feel best when I’m being pro-active, but the instant I find myself running out of people to reach out to, or posts to apply for -- the anxiety returns and I can’t seem to quell it. I feel guilty when I’m relaxing, when I’m focusing too much on a homework assignment, and basically every instant in between. I also desperately crave control (more so than I already do) in aspects of my life I'm more or less able to control -- a recipe for disaster. If a friend were to recount these syndromes to me, I’d advise them to take three deep breaths and to stop being so hard on themselves. My college professor said on the first day of class: “do the best you can with the time you have.” Up until that point, I’d only heard the first part of that sentence, but as soon as the element of time was thrown into the equation -- I felt (somewhat) liberated. Whenever I start to feel the panic rising up, I have to tell myself I’m doing all I can vis-à-vis my job search while juggling my final semester and a three-day internship. I also need to allow myself to relax guilt-free to gain energy I’m bound to need. Besides, my best ideas usually manifest during down time. Speaking of relaxation, I’m starting to think I need a new hobby because exercise doesn’t seem to suffice in calming me lately. Any ideas? I’m willing to entertain anything other than shopping -- or knitting.